I've been doing the C25k program for many weeks now. I've hit a few bumps in the road but I refuse to give up. I read a post while ago about how there is no wagon and it really stuck with me. Regardless of how many false starts I have I am determined to get healthier.

Lately I've been really sporadic about making it to the gym. My training log over at the dailymile proves this. (Are you on there? We should totally be friends!) I've figured out that if I pack my gym bag before going to bed I don't have an excuse to "forget" it. Today I had my bag here at work and I almost didn't go. I'm tired. I'm crampy. I don't want to. But you know what? I went anyway. I've decided that if I get to the gym and after running an interval if I really don't want to be there I can leave and not feel bad about it. I figure that if I still don't want to be there after walking over there, getting changed and running then I will probably stay and get the workout done.

Today I almost left. I did three running intervals and wanted get off the treadmill! I decided that I'd walk the next interval and see how I felt when I heard the prompt to run. I ran, albeit slowly but I finished the interval feeling strong. When the next prompt chimed I decided to pick up the pace. I normally run about 7.5km/h but I decided to try 9.6km/h. This felt huge! I've never run that fast before. I know that there are people running much faster than that but for me this almost felt like a sprint. I felt the treadmill pass my usual running pace. I only had to do this for 60 seconds. At some point I hit a spot where my brain started to complain.

"This is hard! I can't do this! I want to stop. I can't stop now! I can finish this! Holy shit! I am doing this!"

I finished the run huffing and puffing but it didn't kill me! The chime for the last running interval rang and I ran at the same faster pace again! Again I reached the same point where my mind started to complain but I shoved the voice down, hitched up my falling down pants and carried on. I finished the last run wanting to laugh/cry! I felt ridiculously proud. It's not like I did anything really fantastic. I just decided not to stop. The rush of emotions and endorphins was overwhelming.

It's over an hour later and I'm still feeling the buzz. Before I ran today I was judging myself for not sticking to the program but I realize that it's ok to tailor it to meet my needs as long as I'm moving forward. Slow and steady with bursts of speed. I'm listening to my body and it's humming with happiness.