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- 10066 total / 1257 in 2015
Goal: Run until it's no longer fun. Motto: "Always be a unicorn." Mission: #dontdie
Krista ran: Ran 3 miles then stop...
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- 3 miles
- 0:00 time
- 0:00 pace
- 338 calories
Ran 3 miles then stopped dead in my tracks, turned around, and walked home.
I need to get my shit together, I just don't know how. I'm stressed about the discomfort in my shins, which isn't going away. It doesn't HURT, but every step is slightly uncomfortable and I get more and more stressed with every step. I don't remember my last comfortable run. I hate it.
I know I can run 26.2 miles. But I have close to no confidence that I can PR, which has been my goal for this race all year. I feel like I put in the speed work, but not enough. My runs lately, especially Saturday's half marathon, have all but zapped my confidence.
The problem is, I don't have a "for fun, just because" marathon in me right now. Not anymore this year. I don't have the heart for it, or the legs. Normally that's my favorite way to go about a race, but running isn't "fun" right now.
If I bail on the race, I won't forgive myself. If I start it and feel awful, I'll be miserable for 26.2 miles. I practically cried tonight mid-run out of frustration. I can't imagine pitying myself and weeping for 4+ hours.
For some reason, I'm so scared of failing this marathon. I know finishing a marathon is never a failure -- ever. But I feel like if I "give up" and don't go for a PR, that anything less is a waste of the very little I have left in my legs this year, so why bother? I'm just gonna be hurting even more when it's over, but at least a PR would be worth it. But I don't think I *can* PR.
So, fuck. I need to be taken out back and beaten.