Krista ran: Ran 3 miles then stop...

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  • 3 miles
  • 0:00 time
  • 0:00 pace
  • 338 calories
  •  
  •  
  • 0 ft climb
  • 0 max hr
  • 0 avg hr
    • Currently 1/5 Effort.
    effort 1/5
blah Not enough 3 mi

Ran 3 miles then stopped dead in my tracks, turned around, and walked home.

I need to get my shit together, I just don't know how. I'm stressed about the discomfort in my shins, which isn't going away. It doesn't HURT, but every step is slightly uncomfortable and I get more and more stressed with every step. I don't remember my last comfortable run. I hate it.

I know I can run 26.2 miles. But I have close to no confidence that I can PR, which has been my goal for this race all year. I feel like I put in the speed work, but not enough. My runs lately, especially Saturday's half marathon, have all but zapped my confidence.

The problem is, I don't have a "for fun, just because" marathon in me right now. Not anymore this year. I don't have the heart for it, or the legs. Normally that's my favorite way to go about a race, but running isn't "fun" right now.

If I bail on the race, I won't forgive myself. If I start it and feel awful, I'll be miserable for 26.2 miles. I practically cried tonight mid-run out of frustration. I can't imagine pitying myself and weeping for 4+ hours.

For some reason, I'm so scared of failing this marathon. I know finishing a marathon is never a failure -- ever. But I feel like if I "give up" and don't go for a PR, that anything less is a waste of the very little I have left in my legs this year, so why bother? I'm just gonna be hurting even more when it's over, but at least a PR would be worth it. But I don't think I *can* PR.

So, fuck. I need to be taken out back and beaten.

  • Tammi S.
    Tammi S.

    When is the race? You sound BURNED OUT... Can you leave the watch at home except for maybe all but one apples work run a week? You need to find the fun my Unicorn loving friend!

    about 2 years ago Like

  • Tammi S.
    Tammi S.

    Speed work* WHere TF did apples come from?? Maybe unicorns like apples???

    about 2 years ago Like

  • Krista

    It's October 7. I'm running waaaaaay out of time. :(

    about 2 years ago Like

  • Tammi S.
    Tammi S.

    Girl, stop stressing. If you're going to PR nothing you do or don't do will be the end all or be all at this point. You've worked hard, trust in your training and rest those leggies. The mind is the biggest obstacle in your rocking the race or not. Do some yoga or some shit and push those evil thoughts away. You've got this!

    about 2 years ago Like1 person

  • Caleb M.

    Tammi's right on many accounts. This is largely a head issue, not a shins issue. Not that the discomfort is made up, but I know you're hurting in the mojo department right now. But here's the good news: You are strong enough to run a PR...you just need to be fresh. Rest is OK this close to a marathon. And you ARE a badass. And you CAN do this.

    about 2 years ago Like3 people

  • Tracey G.
    Tracey G.

    I wish I had good advice for you... but I don't know what is the right decision! I want you to enjoy Lakefront SO BAD that I almost want to bandit it and run with you so I can throw confetti in front of your every step. I feel like shouldn't decide to bail on the race totally. But don't do it if you're going to bawl your face off for four hours because that's against everything that you are. I hope you can find it in you to run a happy race, whether it's a 3:50 or a 5:30. XO

    about 2 years ago Like1 person

  • Krista

    Thank you guys. You're both right -- it's very, very mental. Yes, there is discomfort and it's stressful, but it's not a scary pain. The pain is in my mind. Ugh.

    about 2 years ago Like

  • Ginesa S.
    Ginesa S.

    You are BURNED OUT girl. I wish I could find some unicorn glitter to put in your path and bring some light back to the eyes of my running chamption/hero/inspiration, but I know that won't help. I hope you find that magical spark in your step and find it in you, as Tracey said, to run a happy race. Because an unhappy Krista for 26.2 miles makes me sad. :( I know you have it in you - but apparently it's hiding right now. *hugs*

    about 2 years ago Like2 people

  • Krista

    Tracey and Ginesa: thank you :) Love to you both. xoxo

    about 2 years ago Like

  • John P.
    John P.

    Krista, I'd stop running until the day before. Let it rest, bike or do something else, test it out the day before and hope for the best. Rest is a tough thing but probably what's needed. You might hit the race on such fresh legs!

    about 2 years ago Like

  • Maureen
    Maureen

    Bad running day ... glad when those are over. Tomorrow will be better. As you said, "chin up."

    about 2 years ago Like1 person

  • Michelle

    Sister you are the most amazing runner I know. Your always running ultras and having so much fun. I see it in all of your race photos. Big pretty smiling face!!! Find that mojo and keep it. Your such a great enthusiastic runner sister love. YOU GOT THIS!!!!!

    about 2 years ago Like

  • Marty
    Marty

    Chin up, Krista. You're ready for the race, but are feeling doubts about your abilities. You're feeling aches and pains that make you question your ability to run the race. Sounds like a serious case of TAPER MADNESS to me! You're going to be great on race day, I know it!

    about 2 years ago Like