Training for the Zombie Apocalypse

Photo by Julie Coulter: Flickr images

There’s nothing like being unprepared on Halloween when the undead decide to emerge from their haunted graves and roam the streets. They’re looking for human flesh to munch on, and the feeling of dread rippling through your body when you realize a Zombie has spotted you is horrifying. That’s why this Halloween, I aim to be prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Perhaps the most important part of surviving a Zombie attack is to stay in shape. So, over the last few weeks, I’ve been in training. Essential to survival is the ability to run away from the Zombies when they come after you. The speed at which a Zombie can travel is controversial, but in general, if you can run faster than you walk, you should be OK. (Good thing Usain Bolt is not a Zombie.)

Along with training, you’ll need to set your expectations about what Zombies can and can’t do. There’s a lot of information out there, and you can learn pretty much everything by watching a few movies. I recommend starting the classic, George Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead.” But after that you’re going to have to come up to speed pretty quick. Skip ahead a few decades and watch Zack Snyder’s “Dawn of the Dead.” These Zombies got a serious makeover, and are totally prepared to take you down.

Finally, when you’re feeling ready to face the living dead and want to get some real life training in, consider entering a Zombie 5k, a “Zombie infested 5k obstacle course.” This race will give you some real life Zombie evading skills whether you like it or not.

To recap, here are some tips:

  • Start training: Do some calisthenics, jumping jacks, line sprints, go to the track, get your butt off your chair and start moving so that you can do it when it counts.
  • Study: Check out some Zombie movies from the library and bone up on their quirks, strategies, and movements.
  • Get real life experience: Enter a Zombie 5k to help sharpen your Zombie fleeing skills.
  • Get in the mood: Set the stage for yourself by hosting a Day of the Dead Dinner Party. Invite your friends over, pick up some Dead Guy Ale and feast on things like Orecchiette (ear pasta) salad, baby back ribs, and ice cream with lady fingers and blood orange syrup.


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